I Really Hate Mornings. Here Is 10 Reasons Why.

Mornings are awful. They should be banned. They should be eradicated. They should become extinct.

They say that there are morning people, but I am starting to doubt that that classification actually exists. I cannot imagine anyone who pops out of bed all bright and shiny in the morning, smiles as they hop up, cheerfully eats something for breakfast that actually takes concentration (as in eggs, pancakes, oatmeal), and starts their day with gusto.

I am the person that thrives in the nighttime, the person that never wants to go to bed. The person that just wouldn’t go to bed if it was up to them (but it isn’t). Mornings are one of the Devil’s most agonizing forms of mental pain.

And now, I shall proceed to tell you why I hate them so much.

Reason #1: Wake-Up Call

You are lying in your bed, wrapped in your blankets, perhaps dreaming peacefully…and then the wake-up call. For me, it is not an alarm clock. It never has been. For me, it is my most-of-the-time awesome mother yelling down the basement stairs for me to get my butt up and start school. All other times, she is amazing, but at this point in my day, all I can think about is how I wish she would go crawl in a hole. But I resolve to get up, leading me to…

Reason #2: The Second Wake-Up Call

I always mean to get up! I really do! But somehow I always manage to a. fall back asleep, or b. delay getting up long enough for my mother to have to call down the stairs again for me to get my lazy butt up and start my school. So I get to the next part of my epic quest against my evil foe, the morning…

Reason #3: Getting Out Of Bed

My bed is so soft. My blankets are so warm. I always have managed to start some impressive rabbit trail of thoughts that is amazing and that I know I will forget as soon as I roll out of bed. But I must. So, thinking that it will make me want to get up, I throw the blankets off of my small, shivering body. Ugh. Always a bad idea. As soon as that happens, all I want to do is go back to sleep…but I brace myself. And I sit up. And I scoot to the edge of the bed. And I put my cold, bare feet on the cold, bare floor. And…drumroll, please…I stand up! Aren’t you so proud of me?

Reason #4: Crawling Up The Stairs

I am homeschooled, therefore I do not have to pull myself into freezing clothes as soon as I get up. I will throw my blue plaid, polka dot, or red fuzzy pajama pants on, and maybe a sweater (green, brown, purple, or green and blue striped). Then, I step off of the not-so-cold laminate floor of my room and onto the frigid, unfinished cement floor that supports the rest of the basement. At this point, my feet are screaming at me. But I drag my fat, zombie self across the floor and to the unfinished wood stairs. Usually, I take 2 or 3 steps at a time, but in the morning it is all I can do to stumble up one after one after one. And then…

Reason #5: Presenting Myself

I drag myself up the stairs and dramatically throw open the door.

“Hi, Jada!” says my mother. “How did you sleep?”

“Unhg. Mery g’ud.” I mumble.

I plod to the bathroom and pull the door shut. Unfortunately, before I grab the hairbrush and flop onto the toilet, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look like a creature that would crawl through your window and kill you in your sleep. Then I multi-task! I brush my hair as I go to the bathroom. Yay for me! And I drag myself out of the bathroom. Which leads me to…

Reason #6: Breakfast

I actually like breakfast. But it would be better if it wasn’t in the morning. All I feel like doing is falling face-first into my cereal and drowning in the milk. But I don’t. I stuff my face and then curl up on the couch, hoping to look camouflaged against the piles of laundry. But my mother notices me, and tells me to start my school.

Reason #7: Second Breakfast

Just joking. I don’t actually get second breakfast, because I’m not a Hobbit, which is yet another reason I don’t like mornings.

Reason #8: Transitioning

Transitioning from couch to table is very difficult, and children the smaller watching the Aristocats in the living room does not help in the least bit.

Reason #9: School

It would be great if it didn’t involve math, cold kitchen chairs, and focusing my brain. About the cold kitchen chairs, though: those are the worst! They are freezing! Really, really cold! And the worst part is that they take forever to warm up, so all you can do is sit there shivering and unsuccessfully trying to focus on both my math and my freezing bum at the same time.

Reason #10: Getting Dressed

This is the last part of my morning proper. My father always gripes at me for not changing out of my underlayers before putting pants on, but cold denim right against your skin really bites. A pair of leggings is a wonderful mediator. My clothes get so cold that sometimes I’m actually tempted to pick my outfit before I go to sleep and keep it in bed with me so it’s nice and toasty when I wake up. But I never do, and it’s always cold.

 

So there you have it! The end of my daily torture session. And if you actually are a morning person, I would LOVE to hear about your life, perhaps to help me understand how you even live.

 

Jackunzel: Seriously, People?

 

Okay, first of all, you may have noticed that I am a very opinionated individual, meaning that I either LOOOOVE something or HAAAAAATE it. And Jackunzel is one of the things that I absolutely deplore. So if you like to ship those two, I suggest you do not read this. It will only make you angry.

But at any rate, one of the only crossover mixes that bothers me more than Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons is Jackunzel. But I’ll start with Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons.

I am a huge fan of all these movies. Individually. I really liked ‘Brave’ because a. Merida’s hair was incredible, and b. I loved how independent and strong Merida was. As for ‘How To Train Your Dragon‘, I was a big fan of Hiccup’s effortless sarcasm. It was totally my kind of humor. Also, Toothless was adorable. ‘Tangled’ is my least favorite out of the quartet. Sorry, Punz, you’re just not my style. I liked some things about the movie, though. I mean, it wasn’t like I hated it. But still, not my favorite. ‘Rise of the Guardians’…DEFINITELY my favorite out of the four. It is just…so…amazing…Jack Frost is my favorite cartoon character EV-VER.

Now, on to Jackunzel. The two have nothing in common. Can you people not see that? Well, I take that back. Neither one wears shoes. But that’s not really much to build a relationship on, now is it?

And please, all you shippers on the internet…leave Jack alone! Contrary to popular belief, there is a group of loyal Jack Frost fangirls who want nothing more that to see him single (you should know that I am a part of this classification). I mean, really. Have some mercy. You can have your own little fanfics, but, for the love of my sanity, do not plaster them all over Youtube and the Internet.

I mean, look at this:

You’re joking. Seriously?

Oh, and did anyone remember that Rapunzel is MARRIED? To Eugene? So this is just wrong, people. Just wrong.

It is one of the worst ships I can think of, right up next to Hijack. It’s Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons counterpart, Mericcup, I don’t have as much of a problem with. It can actually be kind of cute.

See?

A little bit okay, right? Those two, it’s a different story. I mean, they’re both Scottish (don’t argue, I know Hiccup is supposed to be a Viking, but everyone in his village has a Scottish accent), and their personalities complement each other. Merida is bold and strong, Hiccup is sort of meek and intelligent. So that works out pretty well.

So there you have it. Those are my opinions on Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons, Jackunzel, and Mericcup.

If I offended anyone, my greatest apologies. But I just had to get my thoughts out there. Let me know about anything that proves me wrong, though. If you find something that has to do with Jackunzel that is actually okay, I’d love to know.

Check It: Matisyahu, the Best Thing Since Duct Tape

Seriously. If you have not heard of this guy, here are some links:

First of all, one of his older videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9Kf4esMvdE

And then one in-between: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRmBChQjZPs

Then, off of his latest album (and my personal favorite song): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_Vt4MlbM0c

Sorry for all the links, but instead of recounting his entire life story in my own words, here’s a link to his Wikipedia bio: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matisyahu

This guy is seriously amazing. You may notice, or read, about the beard shave. Now, when this happened, I was shocked, too. I was afraid my very own Matthew Paul Miller had sold out. But then I watched an interview with him talking about the beard shave, and read some stuff. He said that he felt like ‘if he didn’t have all the rules (of Hasidic Judeaism), he would fall apart’. And the beard was supposed to be a symbol of God’s mercy. But he figured that, if God was really merciful, he wouldn’t care about a beard. So he shaved it.

And when he appeared in the Sunshine video with no beard and bleached-blond hair, people freaked out. But I personally thought he looked absolutely amazing. This guy is seriously cool. My favorite thing about him? His substance.

You may have noticed that a lot of popular music nowadays has an incessant lack of meaning. It is absolutely sickening to me. I mean, you may like it, and I won’t judge you. You can listen to it all you want. But I like me my Matisyahu.

Another incredible quality to his music is the way it calms me down. It doesn’t matter how bad of a day I’m having, how spiritually upset I am, one song, usually Sunshine, instantly m akes me feel SO much better.

I was first introduced to him when me and my family went to a concert of his. It was part of the ‘Youth’ tour, when that CD came out. We got Youth at the concert, and for the following months, that was ALL we listened to. I got really, really, really tired of it, ‘Jerusalem’ especially.

But a couple years later, I started listening to him again. And I discovered that he is really, really amazing. His music keeps getting better and better. My (awesome) parents got me ‘Spark Seeker’, his latest album, for Christmas/Hanukkah, and it is my favorite so far.

Now, keep in mind that even the oldest video I posted a link for is not THE oldest. Here’s a song off of his very first album, ‘Shake Off The Dust…Arise’: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc46EXMd0kg

You may notice that that’s really, really reggae. Which reminds me:

http://www.cafepress.com/+i_love_heart_hasidic_reggae_large_mug,50373835

Do we not all need one of these?

But at any rate, this guy is the best. And guess what is the best of the best? Matisyahu will be in Missoula, MT in August and…drumroll, please…I GOT TICKETS!!! You probaboy don’t care, but I needed to tell someone about that.

And, whoever is reading this (probably nobody), listen to the songs and let me know what you think. Because I really do care.

Movie Review: Rise of the Guardians

There. Are. No. Words. Oh, here, have a trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd71LWhCO4s.

Ah…I adored it. Actually, that trailer wasn’t even the one I saw. The one I saw was trailer 1, which showed no footage whatsoever of Jack. Who. Is. The. Best. Just in case you didn’t catch it, he was the one with white hair, blue sweatshirt, and staff. So I actually have North (aka Santa Claus) to thank for bringing me to the movie. I just went because Santa had a Russian accent, twin swords, at tattoos all over his arms.

But anyway, Rise of the Guardians was…absolutely stunning. I wasn’t expecting a whole lot, mabe an hour and a half of entertainment to forget about for the rest of my life. But it was really, really good.

It centered around Jack Frost, winter spirit. See, how it works with Guardians is that, if you don’t believe in them, you can’t see them. And absolutely nobody believes in Jack.

The primary guardians (the ‘big 4’) are Santa Claus (North, Guardian of Wonder), the Easter Bunny (Bunny, Guardian of Hope), the Sandman (Sandy, Guardian of Dreams), and the Tooth Fairy (Tooth, Guardian of Memories).

P.S. Watch how Tooth and all her mini fairies act around Jack. That’s me.

But at any rate, all the children of the world are threatened by Pitch Black, the Boogeyman. Who is a total creeper. But, anyway, the Big 4 and Jack have to come together to stop Pitch and save the world, sort of.

This movie was incredible. The scenery was really cool:

This is the North Pole. How cool is that?

It had great characters:

Jack Frost vs. The Easter Bunny. Epic rivalry.

And it had a good message:

Your past does not define your future. Fear can be beaten. BELIEVE.

All in all, it was an amazing movie. Like, it makes it on my list of all-time favorite movies EVER. Which is a big feat. And now, how I rate other movies is based on how amazing Rise of the Guardians was. The Croods, for instance, was as good as a movie can be without Jack (perhaps it will be coming next).

See it. Now. Or I will hurt you. Nah, I won’t, but seriously. See it.

Movie Review: Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

Image

Just to clarify, this is the 2005 release, not the old one, and not the series of manga comics. Oh, and here, have a trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wSba9hwCaU. Yes, the trailer is in Japanese, but the movie is in English.

Also, I didn’t think I was going to like it. It was lent to my by a friend of mine who is really into anime, and I’m not huge on it. I mean, everybody kind of looks the same. And considering this is an anime movie, I wasn’t expecting anything incredible.

But incredible is what I got.

It centers around brave but peaceful Princess Nausicaä, of the Valley of the Wind (but did I really need to tell you that?). But anyway, it takes place in a fearsome post-apocalyptic world, where poisonous jungle kills entire cities and terrifying giant insects wreak havoc.

Example:

This is an Ohm. They are absolutely horrifying. And that picture doesn’t even cover how scary they are in action.

But at any rate, the world is divided into several different kingdoms. The main ones in the movie are Tolmekia, Pejite, and the Valley of the Wind. The apocalypse was basically an army of what are called Giant Warriors: monstrous, fire-breathing red things that destroyed the Earth. And then toxic jungles popped up everywhere, killing everyone that breathed in the spores that the various deadly fungi released.

It is a visually amazing and the idea of it was intriguing. I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. I would probably have to say my favorite part of the whole thing was Nausicaä’s glider:

Oh, and the squirrel-fox, the little furry thing sitting on her shoulder.

But at any rate, I really recommend it. It was supercool, had a good plot, was well-animated…it was a very well-made film. So far, this is the only Studio Ghibli film I’ve seen, but I have heard from many reliable sources that they are one of the best movie studios in the world, and now I’ve seen it, and I believe it.

So, in short, watch it. It rocks.